Why it’s so Hard to Leave
FEAR
The victim may be living in extreme fear.
BLAME
The victim may blame themselves or question if the behaviors were actually abusive.
ENTRAPMENT
The victim may have little financial resources.
ISOLATION
The abuser may have intentionally isolated the victim-- so they are no longer connected to friends or family.
The most dangerous time for the victim is when they are trying to leave the relationship.
This is when their life is most at risk.
Never urge a victim to “Just leave!”
Understanding the Victim’s Feelings and Emotional State
SHAME
The victim may feel ashamed of what has happened and believe the abuse is their fault.
SELF-ESTEEM
The victim’s self-esteem has been steadily worn down; they may feel there are no other options or cannot manage on their own.
FALSE HOPE
The victim may hope that the partner will change.
FEAR
The victim may fear what the partner may do if they do leave.
Understanding the Difficulty of Leaving in Different Cultures
SHAME
Women from different cultures can find it particularly difficult to leave an abusive man as this would bring shame on both themselves and their family.
BETRAYAL
They may feel like they are betraying their community if they contact the police.
PRESSURE
Family members or community members may pressure the victim to forgive the abuser for the sake of the family.
BARRIERS
Religious beliefs and traditions may be barriers to leaving.
